The Bracelet
by CSINYLovexx4ever
Summary: Did you notice the bracelet House wore in Season 8? My explanation for that! Spoilers for Seasons 7 and 8 :


The Bracelet: A House Fanfic

**A/N: So in season 8 did you notice the bracelet House was wearing through the whole thing? You didn't? Go back and take a look, it's present it almost every episode if not every episode of Season 8. I had to look up the meaning behind it. Hugh Laurie said it was something House made in prison and he wanted him to wear it as a reminder everyday of what he went through. While that's nice, I like my version better because it's Cuddy/Rachel centric. This little ficlet explains my take on that bracelet. Set Season 8ish, maybe closer to the end of it all. I don't own them because if I did we'd have an episode in Season 8 that explained all this. Actually Season 8 would have went so much different… so point being, I don't own House. Read on and I hope you enjoy it!**

House sat on his couch drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Scotch. His hooker was leaving him, not even for a legitimate reason like getting married, she was just moving on from him. His wife, who he had grown to love through the time they had spent together, left because he withheld the minor detail that she had received her green card and was free to leave him at any time. Wilson had cancer, the kindhearted superhero oncologist was being pummeled by the disease he spent 20 years trying to fight for others. None of this made any sense and none of it was fair.

House had been in a funk ever since he got out of jail. Parole is hell, having someone tell you where you can go, what you can do every minute of every damn day is tiring and demeaning. House was never one to follow the rules but he never wanted to go back there again. He was a tough man, smart, he handled himself while he was there but he never wanted to have to do it again. House popped a few more Vicodin and hit the bottle again. He didn't care if mixing pills and booze was a bad idea, he didn't even care if it killed him. What else did he have to live for anyway? Anything good he ever had in his life had always been taken away. House went for another swig of the Scotch but stopped mid gulp as he noticed the faded and frayed black and yellow bracelet bobbing up and down on his wrist. He slowly put the bottle down and slid the bracelet off his wrist, turning it over in his hands a few times, remembering.

This wasn't just any old bracelet, it symbolized everything he had ever loved and everything he had ever lost. It had been a gift from Rachel, the night before Cuddy's kidney cancer scare. He had been at their house when she came home from pre-school. She bounded into the living room calling out his name; she must have seen his motorcycle out in the driveway when they pulled in. She climbed quickly into his lap and produced a yarn-like object from her pocket and handed it to him. He asked her what it was and she told him "It's a bracelet you bloody scallywag!" He looked at it questioningly. Did she expect him to wear it? He asked her what she wanted him to do with it and she responded that she didn't know, but she made it for him at school. They were told to make a bracelet for their best friend and she made hers for him. House had never been a emotional being, but he felt his heart swell a little when she told him that story.

He had worn the bracelet all through dinner and the rest of the night until they put Rachel to bed. He took it off and put it in the pocket of his jeans. It was all but forgotten the next day when Cuddy woke up and told House there was blood in her urine. That started the downward spiral that ended ultimately with her breaking up with him for using again and hiding from the pain he was feeling. He had forgotten the bracelet even existed until the night Cuddy had to drive him to the hospital when he tried to operate on himself to remove the tumors from his leg.

He had been asleep for a long time, he felt himself coming to through the fog of anesthesia. He looked around at his surroundings quickly noticing Cuddy sleeping rather uncomfortably on the hard hospital room couch. He chuckled slightly to himself seeing the dean of medicine who picked out those crappy couches actually sleeping on one herself. He then noticed Rachel who was curled up next to her mother looking scared. House made a futile effort to sit up, being able to only slightly push himself up against the pillows. With his voice hoarse he tried to call out to her, but the strained sound of his voice seemed to scare her more.

"Rachel it's okay, see I'm getting better, it's all because you and your mom came to help me." Rachel shook her head at him and looked like she was going to start to cry. House couldn't do anything to stop it and for some reason he felt guilty. "You don't love mommy and me anymore. You don't come visit anymore and you're not wearing my bracelet. Why don't you want to be my best friend anymore? Why don't you love mommy and me anymore?" Hearing those words come out of the three year old, almost four year old little girl who he had bonded with rather strongly in the last year almost ripped his heart straight out of his chest.

"I still love you and your mom very much. We just had a fight. I know you can't understand this right now but your mom deserves a lot better than me. Just because she deserves better doesn't mean I ever stopped loving either one of you." Rachel did not look convinced. "You're not wearing your best friend bracelet." It was the simplest thing in the world to her. He didn't love her anymore because he didn't show it. In a way she was right, he didn't show it anymore and maybe he should try to do that again. "I forgot to put it on before we left the house Rachel, it's sitting on the dresser in my bedroom, I just forgot to put it on. It doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want to be your best friend, it just means I forgot it." She seemed to understand that answer. "Now try to get some sleep, if mom wakes up and you're still awake she won't be too happy." House watched Rachel snuggle into Cuddy's side and watched her slowly and peacefully drift off to sleep. That was the last time he ever saw her. When he woke up the next morning they were gone, they'd left a note but they were gone.

The last time he saw Cuddy was when he walked through the wreckage that was formerly her dining room. He drove his car through her wall because he couldn't stand to see her with another man. He limped away as fast as he could. He headed home, packed a small bag and headed for the boarder. Before he walked out of his bedroom for what he assumed would be the last time he saw the friendship bracelet sitting there on his dresser, just like he told Rachel about. He picked it up and shoved it deep in his pocket, wanting to hold onto a little bit of the happiness he had just completely destroyed and would never get back.

He fled the country for a few months but was eventually picked up and sent to jail. There was supposed to be a trial but it never came to that. He didn't have a lawyer; he represented himself and took the first deal he was offered. He would never admit it to anyone but he was punishing himself. The internal mental torture stopped being enough, prison was the only thing that seemed like the right amount of punishment for what he had done, it was either prison or death, but death would have been letting himself off too easy.

Everything he had to his name was confiscated upon his entry into prison, Rachel's bracelet included, which he still carried around in his pocket every day. After his year in prison when he was given back his belongings it was almost surreal. He was allowed to carry his wallet again, wear his watch, and use his own cane. He turned the bracelet over in his hands a few times before sliding it onto his wrist. It felt foreign, he felt like he didn't deserve to wear it. He thought back to what he said to Rachel the last time he had seen her. Just because he didn't visit didn't mean he didn't love them anymore. Those words were still true. He could never visit them again, he could never see either one of the Cuddy women again, it didn't mean he didn't love them. If anything he seemed to love them more. He didn't blame Cuddy for turning him in. He deserved it. He only wished he could take back everything he had done to them that had hurt them, but nothing could ever right the wrongs he did to them.

He got his job back, Foreman thought that being in charge now gave him some sort of superpower over House, of course dangling the jail card in his face was a pretty good scare tactic. House had to learn to live his life according to the rules. If only Cuddy could see him now, at everyone else's mercy. Nothing had meaning anymore. Puzzles were just puzzles, patients were more annoying than ever. He had next to nothing left to live for. He eventually got close to Dominika, they were doing alright, he even started to feel alright with his life for the first time since he left prison. Tonight every bombshell imaginable had been dropped. The few things he had left to live for were being forcibly ripped from his grasp and there was nothing he could do about it.

House continued to stare at the faded bracelet. He thought of what his life could have been like if he hadn't screwed up. What if he hadn't taken the Vicodin? Would they still be together? Even if he had taken the Vicodin and not driven the car through her living room? Would they have gotten back together? They would still be in his life at least. House felt a tear escape his eye and he wiped it away before it could even travel down his cheek. He placed the bracelet back on his wrist and apologized to the open air. "I'm sorry I let you down, I'm sorry I couldn't do better. It doesn't mean I don't still love you. I wish I could make it up to you and to your mom." Anyone who overheard this conversation might think he was talking to a dead child, or maybe think he was hallucinating. House was completely sane though, he was talking to Rachel. He knew she couldn't hear him and never would but he had to say it, he had to apologize. It didn't matter how far apart they were, how many court ordered documents told him to stay away from them. It didn't even matter if Rachel grew up and completely forgot him, the Cuddy women had stolen his heart long ago and nothing could stop him from loving them.

Regret was creeping back in and House pushed it away with another half bottle of Scotch. He passed out on the couch, still feeling horrible for the way he ended things with the only women that mattered to him.

Miles away in another state five-year-old Rachel Cuddy laid in bed. Her mommy had just tucked her in and turned on her nightlight. She hugged her teddy bear tightly and said her prayers. When she was done she reached down between the mattress and the bedframe and pulled out a yellow and black yarn bracelet. It was a replica of one she made over a year ago and gave to her very best friend in the whole world. She kissed the bracelet and said an extra little prayer. "Even though I can't see you and even though I don't wear the bracelet every day doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I love you House, you're my bestest friend and I can't wait until I see you again." Rachel gave the bracelet another kiss and placed it back between her mattress and tried to go to sleep. She'd never tell her Mommy she had that, whenever she talks about House Mommy gets sad and Rachel hates to make her mommy sad. House and Mommy just had a fight but House still loves them and Mommy still loves him. Rachel drifted off to sleep thinking about the next time he'll visit and they can be a real family again.

**A/N: I wrote it and I'm crying… seriously? Anyway it took on a life of it's own in the middle just like most of my stories usually do. It's actually a sad ending, not something I usually write. Hopefully it's not too OOC but let's face it, Season 8 was just one big OOC fest. You know how much I love reviews so leave me one on the way out! **


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